The Magic of Change

by Claudette Rowley

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." - Alan Cohen

Often when I ask new clients how they handle change, I hear responses such as "I hate change!" or "I'm terrible at change." It's very rare that someone says to me "I love change. When change appears in my life, I just go with the flow."

Change is a part of life. In fact, some would say that maintaining balance in the midst of change IS life. Change is always happening. We only need to look at the natural world to know this. Human life, like nature, ebbs and flows, lives and dies, can erupt like a volcano and be as peaceful as the stream burbling through your backyard. Yet so often we resist that which is natural.

The "magic" in change is being present with it. Being present with it means allowing it to be what it is. It's so easy to resist change because it stimulates fear, it's unknown and we feel out of control. However, you have the choice to allow change rather than resisting it. Here's a sentence that often helps me: "It is what it is, so it couldn't be different."

Keys to allowing:

Keep in mind that you don't have to like it; you just have to allow it. Caveat: Often when we're told to ACCEPT a situation, we think that means we have to like it. You don't have to like it, you simply need to allow without judgment - your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Observe your thoughts and emotions objectively. Observing your thoughts and emotions heightens your awareness of them. Rather than simply being "in" them, you can also be conscious of them.

Notice what you are resisting. You are in resistance when you are thinking something "should be different than it is." I want to make a distinction here. Often at work or in our personal lives, we see situations that definitely need to be addressed or improved. Here's the subtle difference where change is involved: When you notice something that you think should be different, first allow it. It is what it is. From a place of acceptance, you can choose whether to take action, say what needs to be said or do nothing.

Refrain from judgment - judgment of yourself, others or situations. The moment you judge yourself, another person or a situation, you are in resistance and not present. The trick here is to keep noticing and observing any judgment. We are socially conditioned to judge, so most of do it unconsciously much of the time. Caveat: It's easy to start judging yourself for judging. That's your mind looking for a way to take you out of presence. It's a common occurrence, so be attentive to it.

One of the easiest ways to live is from consciousness - being present in each moment and aware of your thoughts, feeling and actions. Change is part of the flow of life. Resisting it won't stop it; nothing will. You're as likely to prevent change as you are to stop ocean tides. Allow for change, allow it to be what it is. That's the magic.